R U OK? Why it’s important that it’s a question
Remember the theory that we only use 20% of our brain? Not sure what they thought the other 80% was doing, but anyway.
Well, we now know so much more about our amazing and fascinating brains. We know we have different parts of the brains (like lobes and cortices) that are responsible for different things. We know we have complex pathways in the brain (neuropathways). As we get older, the pathways become fewer, but so well worn that some complex tasks become almost automatic. Like driving, for example.
What’s all this got to do with R U OK day, we hear you ask. The answer is surprisingly a lot.
The frontal lobe dilemma
Ah the frontal lobe, the home of planning, executive functioning, reasoning and all that other nerdy stuff. It truly is the king of lobes.
The medulla on the other hand - not such a celebrity. What’s it’s job? Not much, just controlling your breathing, heart rate, swallowing. Vital functions like that, essential yes. You want it to keep doing its job without any input from you. Just keep the old heart pumping please. And that is what it does. Magnificently. So well in fact, it even holds a veto over requests from other parts of the brain and body for essential things like blood and oxygen.
Yep, you’re with me now.
We’re talking fight, flight and freeze. Quick, run away from the saber-toothed tiger. What do I need to do that? Blood and oxygen. That’s your job medulla. Contemplating the inner workings of the universe? Nope. That can wait. You can go offline, frontal lobe.
Why we need to ask
When we are not OK, when we are crippled with depression, anxiety or other mental health struggles, our wonderful medulla asserts authority. ‘I need to keep my human alive! Human is in danger!’ Poor old frontal lobe doesn’t stand a chance.
It makes sense then, that those things that our frontal lobe friend is responsible for are not available to someone who is suffering from a mental health crisis or a chronic condition. Do you see why a question is necessary?
Planning and executing movement occurs mainly in the frontal lobe - How can one make an effort to reach out to another person to ask for help?
Planning and executing speech and language also occurs mainly in the frontal lobe - How can one begin to explain what one needs or how one feels?
If someone asks the question, R U OK? Those initial steps that are difficult, however may start a conversation that might save a life.
Pathways
A word on pathways. Neurological pathways. Remember we mentioned how well-worn our neuropathways become? Like driving a car on autopilot or recalling a memory you’ve recalled a thousand times. Same goes for people suffering mental health difficulties. A pathway is formed and reinforced each time a crisis occurs. How much more difficult to divert from a path when the path is so deeply carved into the earth that cliffs have grown up either side? Difficult, yes. Impossible, no. Not with the right support and interventions.
The good news
Our amazing and wonderful brain now comes with new and improved neuroplasticity! The same thing that can help a person with aphasia post stroke regain speech, can help those with well-worn neuropathways to create new and different pathways. So, while the journey may be long and hard. Our brain is in our corner. Even if it sometimes gets the chemical mix a bit wrong in the first place.
A final word
If you think about it, that 20% thing could actually be spot on sometimes. Imagine having 80% of your brain go offline. We might all need someone to ask R U OK?
And that’s the point. Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t knowing that we need help. It’s finding the words, organising the thoughts, making the plan or taking that first step to ask for it. That’s why the question matters.
“R U OK?” gives someone a place to start.
Speech pathologists aren’t psychologists, but we understand how tough communication can be and we can work with people to overcome some of the barriers to effective communication. We support people who find communicating hard for many reasons, and we’re passionate about working with a multidisciplinary approach to help people find their voice and advocate for themselves.
Communication is at the heart of who we are. So let’s open the dialogue by asking, R U OK?
